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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27882709">Love Kicked</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/UENO_H/pseuds/UENO_H'>UENO_H</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Plot, Awkward Romance, Boys In Love, Canon Related, Dirty Thoughts, Fairy Tale Logic, M/M, Pure Shinichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:27:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27882709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/UENO_H/pseuds/UENO_H</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroba Kaito’s humble knowledge collection states that if someone hits their head so goddamn hard, the obvious results are: Critical concussion, amnesia, or death. Sexual orientation transformation isn’t plausible. Maybe he needs to be MRI-ed deeply. Kudo Shinichi thinks Haibara’s new antidote formula is messing with his heart and that she should fix it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan &amp; Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Kaito</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaito</p>
<hr/><p>I want, want, want it. Today before tomorrow.</p><p>Nakamori-Keibu doesn’t get protective, frowny eyed, and downright homicidal like someone plucked his sensitive feathers one by one, unless it was worth it. I have checked out the security protocols, the task-force size, the weapons—is he trying to kill me?</p><p>I removed the last piece of disguise, the yellow contact lenses, tossed it in the garden’s garbage bin, and stuffed my cap into my black jeans pocket. Today’s research was interesting. </p><p>Nursery brats strolled and fixed their critical gazes on me. Gosh, they secreted innocence, curiosity, and various washing detergent scents. Probably, they were heading to their, I don’t know, baby sliders? I bet their anxiety levels are high, thinking who gets to slide first besides eleven different ways to bypass the long queue.</p><p>Brats. I wish I had the same worries instead of scheming the infrared sensors defeat, Hakuba’s temporary enrollment in an asylum, and a dozen or four of helicopters confusion. I doubt the Keibu’s contriving my murder. No proof of that exists, yet? Unlike the gentleman thief Kaitou kid, Nakamori-keibu doesn’t hand out nice advance notices of his goals.</p><p>I’m the best, no, the greatest.    </p><p>On a serious note, if this went wrong, two things will happen. One, I’ll end up sharing living space with a convict or three who’d be delighted to manhandle me, as in non-sexual way, but kind of sexual too. I’m so famous now and that makes people jealous. The idea turns me on, but it’s also creepy because I’m all in for boobs. Two, I die before knowing what real sex feels like, not even the creepy one in jail. In Ekoda’s Pent-up High School Students’ chat, Nakano circulated his usual “Stress-relief” image-package—which I <em>couldn’t</em> check out, because?</p><p>Aoko. She’s been on my case since the announcement of mid-terms dates. Who’s the bastard who invented mid-terms? And why’s Aoko so concerned about my grades? She’s setting up a studying boot-camp in her house when all I want is to check out the “Stress-relief” image-package, on the comfort of me bed. Nakano was amazing enough to include <em>three videos</em>. Aoko’s cute, I convinced myself that studying together is the most cliched beginning to this scenario:</p><p>“K-Kaito… help me understand this problem?”</p><p>As I sneak a glimpse of her flat chest, I respond with, “Sure. It’s easy, just place the X on top of Y squared and…”</p><p>She’ll push herself next to me because <em>she can’t see my scribbles</em>, her flat chest’s weight pressing into my elbow, and when I’ll turn around, she’ll be all red, sweaty, and her lips would be delicious-looking and-</p><p>“Kaito-kun! Aoko! I got dessert and green tea bottles. Take a break and join me!”</p><p>Dirty cliché fantasy’s worst ending ever.</p><p>Her Dad’s presence in the house is a dick-blocker. And not in the fun way. I’m so pathetic. W-W-Wait, if the heist went smoothly, this is the best motivation and reward. I’ll have something to look forward to-</p><p>A soccer ball flew, I flinched, and before I uttered <em>what in the name of god?</em>, it banged my skull. The impact sent me back three steps, enough to sandwich my abused brain between the soccer ball and a tree. Am I dying before the heist? Is it the Keibu’s wrath for fantasizing about his flat-chested daughter?</p><p>Sayonara “Stress-relief” reward.</p><p>Ringing. My ears were full of ringing. And my head felt like it was stomped on by a couple of grizzly bears fighting for food. When I attempted to open my burning eyes, it wasn’t an easy feat.</p><p>“I’m-I’m, are you—I’m sorry! Can you stand? Are you injured?”</p><p>Holy shit. Holy motherfucking shit. Double Sayonara “Stress-Relief” image-package.</p><p>The whole tape of my miserable sex-deprived life flashed right before my convulsing eyeballs. Why was Kudo Shinichi…? Wasn’t Kudo Shinichi entrapped in a poor tiny body that suffered from his adult snarky-ness? What’s he doing? Why’s he so big? Was this a hallucination caused by the head injury?</p><p>“You’re bleeding!”</p><p>Huh? I looked into my hand that held the side of my head and WOAH. But why? I don’t think it’s because of the hit, more like, the tree scrapping? I don’t know. All I knew is, Kudo Shinichi was sweating in blue jeans and red checkered shirt, panicking about my well-being, feet tapping between approaching me and retreating to do a form of an aiding-based-action.</p><p>Remind me again why did I throw ALL of my disguise Items? I could’ve kept the freaking yellow contact lenses—NO panicking Kaito. The name Shun sounds nice. My national ID is xxx-xxxx-xxx, my driving license number is xxxxxxxxxx-xxx, oh, and I own three dogs. And one female-dog. Or is it three female dogs and one male-dog? Like if I get three male dogs and one female dog, it’s a problem. Unless they’re gay dogs. But in my high-end villa, I won’t have gay dogs—why am I imagining kinky group-sex videos?</p><p>Screw you Aoko and Nakamori-keibu, you’re driving me insane.</p><p>Yes, Kudo-fucking-Shinichi scared the shit out of me, but with my bleeding soccer bashed head, I wasn’t thinking straight, and he wasn’t scary. He was an annoying little bastard. How dare he? Wasn’t it enough that I custom made the monocle five times because of his BALLS?</p><p>Kuroba Kaito, even for your inner-thoughts, you need to draw the line. You wouldn’t associate sexual shit with Kudo Shinichi. Never ever do that again.   </p><p>“Come with me.”</p><p>That sentence didn’t help. Wait! What the hell?</p><p>I was dragged from the playground to the street where he waved his arm frantically for a taxi to stop, even if there were no Taxis visible. I was busy stopping the sharp soccer ball vibrations in my head and world-building my fake identity, then found myself inside a Taxi.</p><p>“Haido Central Hospital, hurry please! He’s injured!”</p><p>“O-Ok, you got it!”</p><p>Akako jinxed him yesterday. No other explanation would suffice.  </p><p>“Dammit!” Kudo Shinichi fumbled with his pockets, “Dammit! Fuck! How…?” In desperation, he fetched his white handkerchief and pushed it above my right eye to stop the bleeding. “Please, please! Hold on! We’ll be there soon!”</p><p>If he knew he was acting like a Shoujo manga girl, and nursing the great Kaitou Kid, he’d bite his tongue. Kaitou Kid guarantees this outcome.</p><p>Um. Yeah, I might die because of him, but a closer look at the rough fear in his eyes and I was baffled. His trembles reached the fingers above my eye, as if he was the one in danger. He’s fierce, usually. This shouldn't get him all shaken. He was <em>remorseful</em>. Apologetic. It’s not like he killed me, right? Well, Shun’s a badass name, but since we’re heading to the hospital and I need a freaking nurse asap, lying was pointless. The insurance company won’t be fooled, plus, how will I ask Jii-chan to hack their system? I’d just be a suspicious being that Kudo Shinichi has kicked in the brains.</p><p>“… Are you alright?”</p><p>“Wrong question.” That was mean. But, come on. He can’t ask me that.</p><p>“Raise your head a bit... I’m <em>really</em> sorry. I’ll take full responsibility.”</p><p>You better.</p><p>His concern’s vehement passion twisted my gut. I held the sorry Tantei’s free wrist. His gaze flew between me and my grip, then back to me. He probably thought I was saying my last words or something.</p><p>Without knowing why, my eyes traced the beads of pearly sweat drops gliding on his neck, and under his chin, then at the gloss of his lower lip. This jazzy feel around him—not good, my head feels heavy.</p><p>My forehead bumped with his nose.</p><p>“You have to keep your—raise your head!” He wrestled with my weight, and, it’s true Meitantei was practicing his killer Soccer skills (Literally) at the playground and was drenched with sweat… but his fragrance was a mix of coffee and chocolate. I dunno, I hate to say it, but he smelled comforting. Like, if I die, I won’t mind dying sniffing him out.</p><p>Oh my god.   </p><p>He held my chin to get me off his chest, and his fear ticked a new level, “Raise your head… please…”</p><p>His plea was pathetic. Kudo Shinichi looked helpless and pitiable.</p><p>My grip moved from his wrist, to his hand, then I squeezed.</p><p>“Kuroba… K-Kaito.” I released his clammy fingers, where a white flower materialized, “Nice to…”</p><p>His back fell with a soft thump on the Taxi’s seat, not because of my weight, but his surprise. And my heavy shaken head ended on top of his figure under me.</p><p>Afterwards, all turned pitch black.</p>
<hr/><p>Why’re my eyes burning? And why does my head feel like an epic-fail pancake recipe?</p><p>I suppressed a groan when consciousness hit. I should’ve stayed asleep. Then the brilliance of my situation kicked me in the balls. Wow. Ugh. Nothing stopped the flutter in my head other than my firm grip around it. Then Kudo Shinichi’s figure fought with my blurry vision.</p><p>I abandoned my men don’t groan-policy. It’s self-abuse.</p><p>“H-Hi…” He left his seat next to my bed, “I’m… gonna call the doctor.”</p><p>Lucky me, no physiological issues were detected. The tree scraps were superficial and the doctor teased Meitantei’s real intentions behind kicking a random stranger in the head. The entity subjected to the doctor’s bullying bowed and apologized for his irresponsible actions.  </p><p>“Um…”</p><p>My aspiration for not injuring my head was strong ever since I impersonated the Kaitou Kid. I look like a freaking Sahara Desert nomad or someone with a hideous fashion sense. After paying my medical fees at the reception without my consent, we paused in the entrance’s vestibule where Meitantei scratched his cheek with his thumb.  </p><p>“K-Kuroba-san? Are you positive you’re alright?”</p><p>His question makes sense since I avoided looking or talking to him like it was the plague. We look alike, sound alike, and I’m sure if not for this horrendous mummy folding on my head—Christ. He’s not an idiot. The logical answer to his question was yes, <em>leave me the hell alone.</em></p><p>“If… If you have negative feelings, I understand. But I assure you, it was an accident. I was thinking about god-knows-what and the next thing, I… there’s no reason for me to… I mean, we don’t know each other.”</p><p>Pffffttt. Such a lame reasoning Tantei-kun. Did HE just made that up? Ugh, why am I such a great, kind, accepting guy? It must be a sin to be born with this extraordinary personality. Yet, why don’t I have a wild sex-life? So frustrating. I hate how sincerity seeped from his stems while the white flower petals barely peaked from his pocket. Did he hold on to it while hauling my corpse to the hospital? No, the right question was why?</p><p>The distress clouding his clear azures was real, the strength of his desperate words was touching, the remorseful blush was—well, if he wasn’t always and forever on my case, we’d be friends. Because it’s rare to find a high school student with a decent upbringing.</p><p>Hush all of you.</p><p>I rubbed the back of my neck. Should I change my voice? No, that’d be a disaster, he already knows my real name, and I’ve said one or two words in the taxi, so I’d make myself suspicious. This guy, swear to god…</p><p>“Ah, it’s falling off!” He strode towards me and I sort of eep-ed. Kudo Shinichi running towards anyone is just traumatic. His hands pressed on the links holding the bandage on head and sighed, “It’s fine now.”</p><p>Again, that jazzy feel. Like dreamy piano music and saxophones were made to play in his background. The warmth of his care and his touch... Suddenly, he was overwhelming. I guess when he sees a total stranger, his aura switches to very-much-approachable. Did I just say ‘aura’? Wow, Kaito. Are you fucking feeling alright?    </p><p>I cleared my throat, “Ah, you’re exaggerating my predicament, Kudo-san,” That’s right, gimme space or my brain will run out of oxygen this time, dammit, “I’m fine. Thanks for getting me to the hospital. You didn’t even have to pay, it was an accident after all.”</p><p>Or not? Who knows? He’s taking advantage of my benevolent forgiving self.  </p><p>Wait a second, why does he look so relieved? Was he “Truly” worried? This whole new-thing-personality of his makes little sense.</p><p>“Just Kudo is fine.” He smiled a disgustingly hearty smile, “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”</p><p>Yes, I’m feeling better. So, could you please step back? My cheeks boiled, and something pressed on my chest. And if everything wasn’t embarrassing enough, my stomach growled. Way to go. You fucking ruined the wistful-cool image you were going for.</p><p>“There’s a café restaurant behind the hospital, why don’t we go for late lunch? My treat?”</p><p>Oh no. no, no, no, no-</p><p>“It’s the least I can do after... ruining your day.”</p><p>There’s something weird going on. I know in my HEAD that I don’t want to go with this guy ANYWHERE, let alone a lunch date, but I could sense my body language betraying me. Why? Because I don’t want him to get suspicious of me?</p><p>“It goes both ways. I’m sure you had a lot of stuff lined up for today, and going to the hospital wasn’t one of them. I’d feel bad to have you waste your day… and… your shirt’s stained with my blood.”</p><p>I might have not looked like it, but I had heist-planning to do. Ahem, among other things, involving the stress-relief award that’s gonna taste even sweeter knowing that I have escaped the clutches of Kudo Shinichi right under his goddamn nose.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. Today’s kind of an off for me. I’d love to compensate you for the serious damage I caused.”</p><p>Must you be so insistent? This guy… did he figure me out already? Is he escorting me to the police station?</p><p>“Well… since you’re going that far, I’ll accept your invitation.” I stuttered, “Lead the way?”</p><p>His enthusiastic nod reminded me of a child being told by his parents to lead the way to the toys store.</p><p>Shit, this guy’s apprehending me.</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Errm.<br/>I have read like 2 novels in the past weeks, and got inspired to write this piece. How? I have no idea. Anyways, if you have enjoyed reading it, I'd love to hear all about it, and even give you the next chapter told from Shinichi's perspective. Also, if you have criticism you wanna provide, I'm an accepting person and I think it helps me improve. </p><p>Love you all, beautiful people.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shinichi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>WATCH OUT!</p>
<p>I screamed at the top of my lungs. I swear I did. Hundred percent positive. Yet, why didn’t the words pass past my lips?</p>
<p>Two days ago, I swallowed the “Antidote” for APTX-4869, hoping to retrieve my forever lost youth. God knows how I missed my friends, Ran, football, and respectful adult-size meals. Adult-size coffee servings. Make that adult-size everything. If Holmes was alive, he’d salute my extreme efforts to solve a freaking case.</p>
<p>Does anyone know how nerve-wrecking putting Occhan to sleep is with his Karate-champion daughter around?</p>
<p>Or how I spread clues like a wonder-child and only ever get beaten up or scolded?</p>
<p>I could go on.</p>
<p>Apparently, this Haibara antidote edition was unstable, hello déjà vu. She wanted to monitor the side-effects before I grow enthusiastic and sweep my girl off her feet to bed. Haibara is a firm believer I’ve got a twisted pervert in me that defeats the one in Occhan when I’m just a healthy high school student who's warranted to be a pervert. On the other hand, Kogoro occhan is married. See the difference? And no, getting Ran to bed isn’t number one on my When I Become Adult Again-to do list. Solving a case in person, is.</p>
<p>So, with the daunting thought that Kudo Shinichi would deflower Mouri Ran the minute he’s his own size, Haibara called Hattori and asked him to invent a pretext to hold Ran and Ojisan captive in Osaka for one or two weeks. It’s a bitch move. I argued. She told me, if I don’t do what she suggests, I’ll spend my entire future being the world’s most pitiful ghost-detective who eats Omurice plates with Japan’s miniature “Cute” flags.</p>
<p>Haibara wanted what’s best for me and Ran. I KNOW. But… But I wanted to see Ran despite the risks entailed. Unfortunately, Haibara had the upper hand. She said no. Which only meant NO.</p>
<p>With that said, I made a bold statement this morning that I was gonna blow off some steam in Haido’s soccer training field. If Haibara transformed into Kamen Yaiba’s Gomera and ripped my organs, I’ll still do it all over again. In her skeptical mind, I was heading towards Osaka’s Shinkansen*. I had to swear on mom’s acting career that I was only going on a date with my soccer ball.</p>
<p>Haibara, in no way, shape, or form, did I want to “Bone” anybody. </p>
<p>“I have the tracking glasses, you know.”</p>
<p>YES. I KNOW. God.</p>
<p>“Don’t mingle with people. Don’t let the police see your face. Don’t get involved in cases. You can pet dogs or cats.”</p>
<p>Thanks, Haibara. At least I can pet dogs.</p>
<p>Despite looking like Gomera, Haibara is sweet. She cared about me and loathed seeing my child-depression when I could become Edogawa Conan.</p>
<p>But I digress.</p>
<p>I think I broke an approximately, hundred and something rules when I kicked a random bystander because I couldn’t say, “Watch out”. What the hell? Why wasn’t I able to warn the guy? I almost killed someone.</p>
<p>My heart beats sprinted as I observed the damage I caused. The bystander was a male within the same age group as me, and he had hit a tree because of the impact. Instantly, I remembered when Genta’s world has fallen as he imagined himself starring as a murderer on the newspapers.</p>
<p>Previous High School Detective Kudo Shinichi, Second Day of Adulthood, Murderer.</p>
<p>Because of this morning’s cardio, my shirt stuck onto all the unpleasant places, stinking with man-sweat that increased upon realizing what I have done. God, I hate myself. Couldn’t I commit this wonderful crime after I had taken a shower?   </p>
<p>In the taxi, his head bled, and—oh my god. Luckily, I found something to stop his bleeding, but I couldn’t find the thing that would stop “My” internal panicking. I could speak fine to him minutes ago, and in the Taxi, but earlier…</p>
<p>Was it my imagination that I couldn’t speak?</p>
<p>Was the guy going to die?</p>
<p>Am I gonna make it to the headlines not as a detective but as a murderer?</p>
<p>His face wasn’t entirely visible as I held up his head, but I couldn’t help the familiarity haze that surrounded this person. Did we… Do I know him? Maybe he was involved in one of Ojisan’s cases.    </p>
<p>Normally, one would shout profanities as soon as they saw their offender, but he was different. He was quiet in between the noiseless groans which made me more concerned. Of course, it’d hurt, but just how much?  </p>
<p>And as if reading the swirls of anxiousness and mini-panic attack I contained, he held my hand, his eyes giving me a look of assurance that I was exaggerating the whole incident. His hold wasn’t irritatingly warm like my shirt was. It was… pleasant. Caring enough…? I don’t know how to explain this.</p>
<p>He surprised me. I was thankful I hit someone who seemed compassionate and forgiving. Yes, I was worried that he’d report me to the police and THEN, Haibara will carry out her blackmail promise.  </p>
<p>When he fainted, I couldn’t fight his dead weight, and we both fell on the taxi’s seat. That was how I learned the name, Kuroba Kaito.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Haido Central Hospital makes my eyes roll so badly. It marks all the grim milestones in my life, but let’s not talk about that because I don’t wanna visit the ophthalmologist next to Kuroba-san’s room. What sort of explanation will suffice? The doctor will be like: Oh, why did you roll your eyes dramatically? Because I know this hospital is under the black organization’s sensitive radar that I don’t care anymore. That’s not an answer.</p>
<p>So not only did I interact with one human being (Kuroba Kaito, that’s his name), but also, I was seen by half of the hospital’s staff. If I returned to Hakase’s house and found Gomera sitting in front of Haibara’s laptop, I wouldn’t be surprised. Most likely, she’s glaring so hard at the tracking glasses. Strange that she didn’t call me yet.</p>
<p>The physician examined Kuroba-san and thank goodness, he had fainted because of fatigue, and wasn’t in a critical situation. I wanted to run away the minute I knew he wasn’t in danger, but as I hold the rose he had given me in the taxi, I couldn’t. I owe this guy a face to several-bows apology.</p>
<p>Why a rose? No, the question is, how did he do it? I didn’t see in his hands anything before we ride the taxi. Well, that’s not the issue.   </p>
<p>As I sat next to his bed, I focused on the two blood spots tainting the white petals and something in my throat twitched. It had hurt. Am I getting a cold? No. This was the thirst from the afternoon’s cardio. Better go get some water.</p>
<p>When I walked back to Kuroba-san’s room and sat just for five seconds, he stirred and regained consciousness. Great, so he wasn’t in a coma. I guess today wasn’t fully negative.</p>
<p>“H-Hi… I’m… gonna call the doctor.”</p>
<p>I left my water bottle and dashed over to the nurses-station. After they had Kuroba-san checked, he was discharged, and I was glad. The only thing that bothered me was that he focused on the doctor’s instructions, answered when necessary, but never allowed himself to exchange a sentence with me. Even when I apologized, he nodded and averted his eyes.</p>
<p>I might’ve scared the shit out of him, but at least I didn’t fracture his skull. He didn’t look like the vindictive type, so… what?</p>
<p>When I “kind of” confronted him about it, he had dismissed my concerns and the whole awkward conversation ended up with offering him a lunch treat at the restaurant behind Haido Central Hospital, which he had accepted after my persistence.</p>
<p>The restaurant was all skylight, glazing, white tables and wooden chairs with lots of wall plants. It was one of those restaurants that company staffers visited regularly because of their mid-range prices. What about the food’s quality, though? It’s enough that I sabotaged his physical health, I don’t want him thinking I’m going cheap on him.</p>
<p>As I sensed the awkward mix of vanilla and Hamburgers aroma, my eyes peeked at Kuroba-san from above the menu in my hands. He didn’t have a particular expression, just that he wasn’t even checking the floral writings on his own laminated menu, and his hold was rougher than it should.</p>
<p>Does he… not want to be here? Does he hate me? But if he hated me, he would’ve refused my invitation with a frowny behaviour. Or don’t tell me he’s one of those guys who are easily flailed around because they’re too scared to voice their opinion? Though, he doesn’t give off that picture.</p>
<p>“Kuroba-san…”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>What…? Why did I call out his name? Idiot! Why do I care what he thinks?</p>
<p>His answer was alarmed, more than responsive. This guy… either he hates being here with me a lot, or he knows me and is trying to hide it.</p>
<p>“Um, am I making you uncomfortable? Maybe I was too persistent with my invitation…?”</p>
<p>His smile didn’t reach his eyes as he closed the menu and rested his chin on his right palm, “Why are you saying that?”</p>
<p>“… No, just… no reason.”</p>
<p>“Then don’t ask me things without reason. Hai, I’ll leave the order to you. One chocolate milkshake and chicken Teriyaki noodles.”</p>
<p>Well, there’re multiple deductions I can throw at you, but I’m not doing it yet because your damaged brain wouldn’t keep up.</p>
<p>“Fair enough.”</p>
<p>I like Kuroba-san’s calmness. Although it could hide a lot of things, it earned my respect. As the gears worked in the back of my head to pinpoint the familiarity feeling he gave off, I allowed myself to enjoy the company of another adult in my “Adult” form.</p>
<p>“Um, for a while, I’ve been wondering…” I said after giving the waitress our orders, “Have we… met before?”</p>
<p>Did I imagine the water invading Kuroba-san’s lungs?</p>
<p>Wait, so I know him after all-   </p>
<p>“Kudo…?” He chuckled, then shot me an entertained smirk, “If you wanna ask me out, just do so. I won’t judge, you know?”</p>
<p>“Are you an idiot?! Who’s trying to…”</p>
<p>I jerked off my seat, slammed the plastic white top of the table, and my voice raised that even if someone pressed harder on the + button, it wouldn’t go higher. I got thirty something baffled stares, and another twenty look-downs from the restaurant’s second floor. My cheeks heated without giving me the heads-up, so I sat slowly as whispers peppered the restaurant.  </p>
<p>So far, I’ve done an impeccable job at keeping low-profile.</p>
<p>“Your approach to woo me is rather aggressive. Instead of bashing my head and taking me out to lunch, you could’ve said: Hi, you’re hot, wanna grab a bite together?”</p>
<p>He is hot. And I’m straight. And I won’t fall for this trap again. I glared at him with no actual heat while my cheeks remained blazing.</p>
<p>“I have a girlfriend. Stop your delusional assumptions.”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter. Maybe you have gay-ish tendencies that <em>awakened</em> upon meeting me, we’ll never know.”</p>
<p>“…Awakened?” I was blown.</p>
<p>“Indeed.” He nodded, still smirking.</p>
<p>“Sorry for the wait! Here’s your chicken Teriyaki noodles, and here’s your Chinese roasted chicken and brown rice. Enjoy!”</p>
<p>“Wow. Their food looks promising.” I exclaimed. Exclaimed? Shit. Kudo Shinichi, you need to detach yourself from Conan’s personality, please.</p>
<p>“Have you not been here before?”</p>
<p>I shook my head as I chewed on my roasted Chinese chicken, “First time here with you.”</p>
<p>Wait…</p>
<p>Oh. <em>Oh.</em> Damn. I almost coughed back my food as it changed routes inside my throat.</p>
<p>“Kuroba-san!”</p>
<p>“Oh, Kaito’s fine-”</p>
<p>“—Would you stop?”</p>
<p>“—I get it. I get it. People are looking. And do I need to remind you that <em>you</em> invited me? It’s not my fault I turned out to be such a terrible guy.”</p>
<p>I sighed and sipped from my orange juice—seems I can’t let Conan’s childish orders just go. “You’re not… terrible. You don’t know terrible.”</p>
<p>“Oooh. I’m sensing complicated backstory. I don’t wanna hear it, let’s just enjoy the food.”</p>
<p>Oh my god. This guy. Unable to hold it in, I exploded laughing, puzzling the restaurant’s customers to death. I even grabbed a napkin to wipe the orange juice that spilled from between my lips.  </p>
<p>“You ARE a character.” Seriously, his attitude was so fresh.</p>
<p>“And here I was worrying about the rudeness of my statement.”</p>
<p>I laughed harder, “Did <em>you?</em>”</p>
<p>“Of course not.” </p>
<p>“It’s—I mean, if you’re out with a “Supposed” romantic interest, that’d be the worst thing to say. You’re taking insensitivity to another level, and that’s coming from me.”</p>
<p>He grunted, then chomped on the food, “That’s me. The insensitive guy you almost caused a permanent disability.”</p>
<p>“Sorry.” I wiped the tears in my eyes, “Can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”</p>
<p>“That’s also me.”</p>
<p>I thought I’ve started the connection with Kuroba Kaito from the middle, and I wanted to go from the beginning, or maybe I wanted to know more about him. Maybe it’ll help me recall where I’ve met him before, or if I did at all.    </p>
<p>“Kudo Shinichi. A high school detective. What about you Kuroba-san?”</p>
<p>“I told you, Kaito’s fine.”</p>
<p>“…Ah, ok.”</p>
<p>His blue eyes were a different shade from mine, and for almost a minute, his gaze was blank, but calculative. He was concerned about my intentions behind the question. Understandable, I have just had him on a hospital bed. He’s probably thinking this is a part of a hidden conspiracy.</p>
<p>“Like you, I’m high schooler. I work in Ichinen repairs as a handyman. So, if you got yourself a leaking ceiling, I’ll be at your service.”    </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, are you joking?”</p>
<p>“Apparently, no.” His arms crossed over his chest, defensive and offended, “What? You’re gonna make fun of me? Go ahead and be a racist jerk. It’s not like detectives are super cool.”</p>
<p>“No-”</p>
<p>The daring white figure displayed on the 65” TV monitor behind “Kaito” snatched my eyes effortlessly. When I allow my imagination to hop-skip through the endless possibilities, which I refrain from most of the time, one possibility was highly possible. What if Kaitou Kid had signed a contract with Nichiuri TV to act as the century’s petty-thief to skyrocket their views? Otherwise, why would they have “Kaitou Kid” analysts in their studio contemplating about what “Perfume” he used to spray the notice card this time?</p>
<p>If Nichiuri TV and Kaitou Kid turned out to be connected in one way or another, Oh…</p>
<p>Nakamori Ginzo will be furious.</p>
<p>He’ll feel like he’d been scammed…? I’d feel horrible because a mere petty-thief-scammer stands on equal grounds of wits with me. </p>
<p>“Kudo?” My so-called lunch date spoke up, “Careful, you’re spacing out. Don’t get someone killed this time.”</p>
<p>An instant small smile erased my Nichiuri-TV-Kaitou-Kid-scammers-thoughtful face.</p>
<p>“Ah… sorry.” I added sarcasm in it.</p>
<p>“Pay attention to the hot guy you’re with.”</p>
<p>My God. I think he won’t ever let me live down the question I asked him earlier. Shinichi, you’re an idiot. I was between chuckling and shaking my head when I gave up arguing with him.</p>
<p>“It’s not like I love the guy on TV.”</p>
<p>“Do you hate him? He seems to be very popular nowadays.”</p>
<p> Hate?</p>
<p>Hate is a strong word. He gets on my nerves, but hate?    </p>
<p>“He enjoys tormenting the police force. He takes advantage of my weakness and disguises like me, he invades my privacy and deceives people around me to get what he wants. Why wouldn’t I hate him?”</p>
<p>“Wow, you know a dude fucked up when ‘He’ got mentioned ten times.” Kaito concentrated on his food and gave me the-I don’t wanna hear backstories-attitude.</p>
<p>“… He also saved my life many times, helped me plenty, and he’s hurt no one or likes to. So… I feel conflicted and a hypocrite sometimes. I know I sound crazy, but I don’t hate him. More like… I wanna understand his aim and maybe even help him, using more legal ways.”</p>
<p>He broke his undivided attention to his meal and his gaze pierced me for a long ten seconds that I found myself unable to speak. What…? Did I say something weird? </p>
<p>“Hmm.” He tore his fixation on me and continued eating.  </p>
<p>“Sorry, I ruined the atmosphere.”</p>
<p>“Nah. I’m just a handyman so what do I know about such complicated stuff?” He waved my concern, “Your job sure isn’t easy.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I enjoy it. I got to meet many people and do a lot of things I didn’t think I’d be doing.”</p>
<p>“Good for you.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“I told you, there’s no need to walk me to the station. It’s not like rain’s lethal. If I die, it’ll be because of the delayed soccer ball side-effects on my skull.”</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes as I held the black umbrella over both our heads.</p>
<p>“Or was this part of your ‘Date’ scheme?”</p>
<p>“One more word about us in a gay relationship and I’ll suffocate you with the umbrella. It’s possible, trust me.”     </p>
<p>“Scary.” He laughed as the rain pattered our umbrella. The city had switched to nightlife, the traffic lights and storefront LED fixtures mixed on the water puddles to form turquoise and deer blood red colors. The air was cool, fresh, and purified. And… Although the day has started in the worst way possible, a sense of contentment settled in me as we walked.</p>
<p>His shoulder collided with mine a few times until we had a silent consent to be physically attached under the umbrella. Which was strange since he made every perverted comment he could think of. One would keep their distance, but just walking or talking with Kaito was…strangely safe. Dangerously safe? Or maybe safely dangerous.</p>
<p>His gaze didn’t leave me as we crossed a radiant gift shop, and my cheeks heated. I bet he’ll make up a joke out of this.   </p>
<p>“Don’t stare at me.” I tried not to stutter.</p>
<p>“I’m not.”</p>
<p>“You<em> are</em>.”</p>
<p>“Are you nervous…? Don’t worry, you’re handsome and my heart’s fluttering, so be confident.”</p>
<p>By then, I’ve become a firm believer that Kuroba Kaito was made to annoy and tease people. Perhaps he was a flirt as well. But that’s the point. I don’t know what Kuroba Kaito was made to do. Because I don’t know him. Because I tried knowing him, but he’s blocking me with his perverted attitude, thinking he could delude me into… into what?</p>
<p>We were attached under the umbrella, but our souls won’t, because of the barrier he’d placed, and it’s not like I’m so fond of taking it down or whatever. Just that it bugs me a little.  </p>
<p>“So…” I braced myself for Kaito’s next remark, “Are you hiding from me you’re a Soccer Major Leaguer?”</p>
<p>“Ah…” Ok, better than my expectations. I just smiled, “If I was one, I’d be the worst since you were never a target.”</p>
<p>“Hmmm.”</p>
<p>“Kaito, it was an accident. Soccer clears my mind. I wasn’t paying attention.”</p>
<p>“So, you’re just a soccer fanatic?”</p>
<p>“Yup. I like going to the games, school practices…” Which I miss. Genta, Mitsuhiko, Ayumi, no offense but, adult soccer is more gratifying.</p>
<p>“If you’re so passionate about it, why not aim for higher?”</p>
<p>Firstly, Edogawa Conan is no Major Leaguer anything, but surely, Kaito doesn’t need to know about that.</p>
<p>“Well, I have been scouted before-”</p>
<p>“—THAT’S AWESOME!”</p>
<p>Err, his enthusiasm was baffling, “But I turned them down.”</p>
<p>“WHAAAAAT? Why would you do that?!”</p>
<p>Aha… haha…</p>
<p>“Umm… It’s not my ambition to pursue a career involving soccer.”</p>
<p>“…” Kaito sighed, “So you’re like the gem-writers whose works won’t see the daylight because they’re shy and have low self-esteem.”</p>
<p>“Pretty much, minus the shy and low self-esteem part.”</p>
<p>Kaito’s palm held his face in frustration for my sake, “Then what would you rather do instead of pro soccer player?”</p>
<p>My free hand scratched behind my neck, “A great detective. One that’s like Holmes, though no one should compare themselves to Holmes. He’s the best.”</p>
<p>He made a thoughtful sound, “That so? How many cases did you solve?”</p>
<p>“Over eight hundred.”</p>
<p>“Scary. No amateur high school detective is capable of that. Basically, you’re unbeaten? Is that the right term?”</p>
<p>I don’t enjoy boosting about myself, but facts state that I’m great at what I do. My face was on most newspaper covers pre-Edogawa Conan era, and I’m both happy and surprised that he didn’t recognize my name.</p>
<p>Then I realized that I gave away a lot about myself to a stranger, something that would upset Haibara.</p>
<p>The train station appeared fully packed, and we detached as soon as we entered the vestibule. My left shoulder where Kaito was next to me almost mourned the loss. And I forced myself to snap out of… whatever the hell this is. We passed the entrance, and I folded the umbrella given to us by the kind people of the café.</p>
<p>
  <em>Um, I apologize for today. So… </em>
</p>
<p>Wait. Try that again.</p>
<p>
  <em>Kaito, I apologize for today-</em>
</p>
<p>Not working. Why? Now and in the morning. Something’s wrong, definitely. I need to speak to Haibara. Either this is the antidote’s doing or… what could it be? Is it temporary or permanent? How can I…?</p>
<p>Coldness as rough as ice tore through my skin. I can’t imagine losing the capability of speech, that’s just… wasn’t it enough that I turned into a seven-year-old kid?</p>
<p>“Kudo? Kudo!”</p>
<p>A hold yanking me to the side of the entrance jerked me out of panicking. Kaito had his train ticket in hand while staring at me with a couple of questions.</p>
<p>“The crowd almost bulldozed you. Watch where you’re standing.”</p>
<p>My lips were glued with fear. What if I can’t speak again?</p>
<p>“You alright?”</p>
<p>No, I’m not.</p>
<p>Just… no.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Shinkansen: Basically, a bullet train.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed reading even though I updated pretty... damn... late? Sorry guys, I traveled and tried writing in between so this is the result. </p>
<p>Anyways... let me know about your thoughts, it's always fun and pleasurable to read them. </p>
<p>Regards, </p>
<p>Ueno</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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